Online Magia Retreat?

I have been winding up a year's study and practice in John Michael Greer's Way of the Golden Section. Just a few more days before I complete the year-long cycle of teachings in the accompanying Occult Philosophy Workbook.

Along the way, I encountered Alan Chapman via his participation in several podcast interviews with many of my favorite esoteric and spiritual podcast producers. I found his attitude and perspective refreshing and interesting so I delved into WORP FM, made my way through the Baptist's Head compendium, and completed an initial read of Magia.

A few days ago, I started re-reading Magia more closely and then went to sleep. The next morning, I received this email from Alan's mailing list:

Update:

Doing an 11 week online retreat soon.

I've been wanting to receive guidance from a spiritual teacher who has a focus on helping students enter into a state that, for lack of a better term, is known as enlightenment.

I am concerned about the online-only format and am worried that I won't be able to focus or get much out of it.

I am worried about getting caught up in traps of wanting to receive praise or acknowledgement from a teacher.

Or of wanting something from a teacher or a group unrelated to the core message and purpose.

Alan is very smart and can recall and speak eloquently about a huge amount of spiritual learnings – sometimes I struggle to follow his chain of reasoning. Will the retreat be a waste of time and money for me?

How important really is the sangha? What if I don't connect with the other students? What if I find myself wanting to build community and this becomes a distraction from developing my own practice?

Will Alan and his students be able to reliably use my pronouns and gender?

Is pursuing enlightenment even worthwhile? Should I be focusing on grieving, my health, and on building more social connection in my daily life?

Should I spend the money given that I have lots of medical bills on the horizon?

The retreat starts in a few weeks. I am going to start practicing some of the unbinding practices from Magia once I wrap up my year-long commitment to Greer's system.

Hoping for some clarity soon.