The they/them menace ;]

Hey music community friends! Wanted to share a big life update with y’all :] As you may have seen in my online bios, I use they/them pronouns. I’ve been using them exclusively with my non-music community queer friends and allies since 2020 or so and at my LGBTQ-friendly job since 2022.

Why they/them?

They/them pronouns are used by many people who know deep-down that they don’t identify with the gender that they were assigned at birth by their family, doctors, and the state. They also know that they don’t strongly identify with either of the two available gender options in their particular societal context. Within the Christian-European tradition that shaped the mainstream culture of the USA, two genders were historically recognized. However, I don’t identify with either.

Please use my name when referring to me or use they/them if you need to use pronouns :]

What if I mess up?

You’ve probably known me to use he/him for many years. It’s hard to undo old habits, I get it! If you catch yourself mistakenly using he/him, just pause, correct yourself, and move on. No need to feel really guilty and apologize at length ;]

What if I mess up over and over?

Don’t worry, I’ve been there before. I have friends that have changed their names and pronouns more than once. Getting used the transition is tough! Before hanging out with me, practice a conversation about me in your head! For example:

• This is John David, they play the cello and the bass.
• This is John David, they are into small cats, medium-sized cats, and large cats. They also enjoy reading weird books.
• Have you met John David? They often enjoy being a sound person.

What about bro, man, or dude?

I have hated those terms as far back as I can remember 🛑⚠️☣️

What about collectively referring to a group that includes you as “guys”?

That’s fine! ^-^ However, I don’t prefer the singular “guy”. So please call me a sound engineer or sound tech instead of a sound guy!

How can I help?

Spread the word about my pronouns among the rest of the music community! Politely correct people who use he/him and send them a link to this page.

Thank you!! <3